I'd Give Up Forever
by krissy108
Summary: I never thought Angel and Buffy got a real goodbye scene so heres my version.


GooGooDolls, Iris.

"And I'd give up forever to touch you

'Cause I know that you feel me somehow

You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be

And I don't want to go home right now

And all I can taste is this moment

And all I can breathe is your life

'Cause sooner or later it's over

I just don't want to miss you tonight"

Angel's thoughts

Just for a second I can get lost in those eyes, forget what I am with just a glace.

I could loose myself in there green depths, forget that I'm not what she needs.

She needs someone she can grow old with, someone with a pulse.

Just the thought of someone else holding her this way, sends a angry chill down my spine.

I don't want to give her up, shes the best thing thats ever happened to me.

Buffy keeps me going, without her I don't know if I can function.

Letting her go is my worst nightmare, and I know it will haunt me untill the day I die.

But she needs better than me, this can never work, I can't be there for her.

I'm selfish hiding her away in the shadows by my side when she should be in bright, warm sunlight.

I've kept her away from the living for far too long already.

But just the feel of her swaying against my cool skin seems to warm me , make me feel alive again.

Lyrics

"And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everthing's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

Or the moment of truth in your lies

When everything feels like the movies

Yeah you bleed just to know you're alive"

Buffy's thoughts

I can see it in his eyes tonight, hes thinking about the future, _our_ future.

Angel thinks we can't work and I guess somewhere inside me I know it too.

I tear my eyes away for just a second and glance at the other couples on the dance floor.

They all look so happy , so in love , it hurts.. deep into my soul knowing Angel and I will never have the chances they do.

I feel a chill go through my body , just thinking about life without Angel.

How can I do it, how can I survive without him by my side helping me go on.

How many times has he saved me from just letting go.

I feel his gaze on my face and I instantly go to his eyes, searching them for something, anything to calm me.

But his dark eyes are as lost as my own.

Suddenly I feel as if I can't stand on my own two feet and seek the comfort of his chest, the only thing keeping me vertical.

What will happen when he's gone, his hands no longer entwined with mine, his arms no longer around me?

Lyrics

"And I don't want the world to see me

'Cause I don't think that they'd understand

When everything's made to be broken

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am

I just want you to know who I am"

Angel's thoughts

I close my eyes , listen to the stedy rythem of her heart agains my chest.

This is the closest I've come to feeling alive again, holding her so close her heart is my own.

I've got to let go, I can't forget why I came here tonight.

Who am I kidding I came here to tell her I'm leaving, I came here to break her heart, my heart shattering in the process.

This is killing me , dancing here with her in my arms , just waiting to tear her apart...

"Buffy.." Angel whispered hoarsly in her ear.

"Angel?" Her eyes find his , filled with love and innocents.

"Buffy ...I'm..Buffy I'm leaving." Angel blurted out before his heart could stop him.

Buffy went ridgid in his arms , blinking back the tears that threated to spill down her cheeks.

"Buffy please listen to me , this ..this.. what we have it can never work, you need better than me Buffy, someone you can marry and grow old with , start and family with, and I ...I can't give you that." Angels voice sounded hollow cracking under the pain surging through him.

"You ..you mean you don't l-love me?" Buffy could bearly pull the words from her lips.

"NO , NO Buffy don't think that _ever_, I love you more than anything, but I can't give you all the things you deserve." Angel stared into her eyes trying to read her feelings.

"Angel , I don't want all those things ..all I want is _you_." Buffy couldn't hold it in any longer , a single tear fell down her cheek.

"I'll love you forever Buffy." Angel whispered into her ear before backing away into the shadows of the club.

"Forever" Buffy whispered to the air, were Angel, her love, her life once stood. Holding herself against the cold that came over her in waves.

The last words of the song echo in Buffy's ears as she fights for control over her emotions "I just want you to know who I am"


End file.
